I am a Machine

Life's not fair.

How many times have we heard that?
Well, life may not fucking have to be but should we humans should try to be fair. Especially to those we care about: our family, our friends.





I do almost all of the house work.

The husband is supposed to do his laundry, our sheets and the bath towels. He also has a list of chores, for lack of a better term.

I made this list per his request over a year ago. It is laid out day by day with about 20 minutes worth of work assigned to each of 5 days with Friday and Saturday free, in case he has to do any cathcing up.
Again, he REQUESTED that I make this list.

Why? Because, I would get annoyed that he would walk by things in the house that needed to be done like 14, 000 times and never notice them. I got tired of having to ask for his help and we thought this would be a helpful way for him to contribute.
Once again, let me reiterate that each days assigned tasks amount to approximately 20 minutes worth of work, at most 30 if you're hung over.

The husband has NEVER once completed the whole list in one week.

Never.

Thus, in addition to doing ALL of the cooking, dishes, all my laundry, the kitchen laundry, the baby's laundry and dog laundry, all the hard cleaning like: ceiling fans, the fridge, vents, the floors, picking up child carnage and sometimes dog carnage, I have to often do shit from his list too.

Why?

Because I'm not white trash and don't want to live in a shit hole.

I do almost all of the grocery shopping.

I make a list, I plan meals, I check for maintanence goods, like toilet paper, filters and the like. I try to do this on a bi-weekly basis. I like going to the grocery store and so does the kid.

The husband goes when he is bored, or wants to distract the child, or desperately needs somehting. And he always overspends by buying some bullshit we don't need, like a $8 guitar magazine.


I make the budget and pay all of the bills.
Except his student loan and I have my doubts that he is getting that paid.

I work less these days so I don't bring in as much money. The promise to me when I got pregnant was that I could spend more time with the baby and work less and that the husband was going to get a raise. It's been 3 years, he just got that raise today.

Thus, I've been scraping and scrimping and stressing over how to pay for stuff and we haven't been able to save a dime because jackass never could find the right moment to press the issue of his raise.



I make sure the dogs' needs are met.
I walk them.
I bathe them.
I take them to the vet. (and budget for that)
I give them all their preventatives.

I run a brick and mortar hospitaltiy business. I do all the ordering, all the scheduling, all the books, and special events. I do all the social media marketing and maintain the website.

I run a pop-up restaruant, we have dinners once a month.

I teach a class at a Culinary school.

I teach my child, I play with her, I feed her and change her and take her to playdates. I got her into the best private school I could (and budgeted for that) did all the visiting, interviewing and paperwork. I take her to the doctor. I cancel MY appointments when something comes up with her.

The husband works 5 days a week plus 1 morning for an hour at his job. He takes over with the child in the evenings when I often have to go to my brick and mortar business. He gives me grief about this.

"That's not like work, that's like hanging out with friends!"

No shit Sherlock, I purposely made my career in something I love. Not my fault that you did not.

I do bitch at him for being lazy, not holding up his end. It does no good. I've begged and pleaded, no good. I've shut up and just been morose, no good.

I ask my female friends about it.
The answer: "Men are just that way and we have to accept that we do more and can multi-task."

Fuck.    That.

I don't HAVE to accept shit.

The fact is, that I am commited to giving this marriage my best. But there will come a day of reckoning. A day when I will be utterly fed up. If it continues this way, there will come a day when I realize that my best is just not good enough for this kind of bullshit.

He whines about how I'm not very affectionate and he wants more closeness.
Well Sunshine, slavery is exhausting and there just isn't much left at the end of a day of picking up your fucking slack.

I hear other bitches who's husbands make a ton more money and have NO out of the home commitments moaning over all the "work they do."

Shut the fuck up.



Yes, children and the house ARE work but until you add an 8 day a week career on top of it with a budget so tight it squeaks, you may not moan.



So, back to fair. Is my life with my husband fair?
Hell no.
But you know what they say about life?
I guess it's a good thing machines don't have feelings.