The Green MnMs

So one morning I posted something on my Facebook page about eating all the green MnMs ( Yes, I have a damn Facebook page, yes, I like having one, shut up).






Anyway, a couple of my buddies immediately got the joke. You see, those of us from a certain generation know that green MnMs make you horney. Not the yellow ones, certainly not the brown or blue ones…just the green.

Now this is of course something I think that started in junior high when we weren’t even good at recognizing horniness. I’m sure it’s the idea more than the actual green color getting us going.






But actually there are quite a few foods that actually do cause this reaction…at least for me. Now perhaps you aren’t in tune with your body, your taste buds, or your sexuality in a way that allows for this awesome outcome, but for me, there is little that’s a bigger turn-on than awesome food.






Like once, years ago, I had a friend flying in from New York. Damn JFK, the flights are always running behind and I get to the airport to find, yep, his is no exception and is delayed. At that time there was this cool seafood restaurant in the airport that had a neat bar and good specials. On this lucky day raw oysters were on special. That fucking plane was so late that I managed to eat five dozen gorgeous, glistening little bastards and drink an entire pitcher of Fat Tire ( which was also on special). Oysters make me hot, what can I say? That silky texture, the saltiness, and the beautiful insides of the shells….horseradish…..mmmm. Needless to say, by the time he got off the plane I told him, “Not only do you have to drive but we either have to find me a date or you are in serious trouble!”

Sorry, that’s all you get… don't be a perv!










So along these lines I remember when I first got a copy of Intercourses, The Aphrodisiac Cookbook. It was not only absolutely exquisite with amazing photographs and anecdotes but the recipes were cool too. If you want to delve into sexual dining, check it out.

So here’s a run down of some seriously sexy food that should work wonders on your, or your “friend’s” libido, fuck,(pun intended) I hate that word…sex drive, there you go.

Pesto


Basil, Garlic, a touch of Italian Parsley, Pine Nuts.


Now I like mine with a lot of garlic so my chosen victim…ahem…”friend,” needs to also eat the pesto/like garlic. Something about the fresh green taste of the herbs, the earthy heat of the garlic, and the buttery hint from the nuts; it makes you think of lying naked in the summer grass.






Panna Cotta with Flowers


Panna Cotta has such a silky feel, it is decadent and rich, which is always hot. But, when you add fresh flowers to the mix, the experience seems beyond decadence and is vaulted into the realm befitting royalty. The idea of eating something sort of precious like beautiful flowers just makes you feel naughty…and that’s nice.

Chocolate with Lavender and Honey


Now we all know chocolate is practically like porn, but this little concoction (no pun intended) takes it into the stratosphere. Ok, one, dark chocolate, the best you can find at least 73%, two, honey that has had crushed lavender hanging out in it for at least a week. Again, get local good-ass shit, it has more personality…and we all know what a turn on personality is! Now, melt the chocolate (double boiler, Google that shit) then throw in a pinch of cayenne. Yep, I said cayenne pepper. Now warm the honey so it’s slightly thin. Take anything…a marshmallow, a strawberry, a spoon of peanut butter, dip it in one then the other, enjoy. Feel the tingle on your lips from the pepper, the bitterness of chocolate soothed by the perfumed honey. Now I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that other things can be used for dipping…so use your imagination….warm chocolate and honey. Oh yeah.

Foie Gras, Sweetbreads and/or Bone Marrow


Guts are good, my friends. Rich, fatty, very savory, some say umami. Add a little vintage Champagne or heavy sweet wine, some fruit reductions, balsamic reductions and bitter greens; it’s a sensation explosion. Explosions are good. *wink*










So, the moral is, get started paying attention to your food AND your body; there is a big pay-off to be had.






Somebody turn on the air, will you? It’s hot in here.